Have you ever said yes when every part of you wanted to say no? Have you ever stayed quiet to keep the peace, even though your heart was screaming? Have you ever bent over backward for someone—only to feel invisible, exhausted, or even resentful afterward? You’re not alone. I used to live there. People-pleasing was my default. I said yes to everyone, tried to meet everyone’s needs, and avoided conflict like it was fire. I was terrified of disappointing people. The idea that someone might be upset with me felt unbearable. And for a long time, I told myself I was just being “kind,” “thoughtful,” or “nice.” But the truth? I was terrified of what would happen if I didn’t make everyone around me feel okay. Where People-Pleasing Really Begins None of us become people-pleasers by accident. It’s not a character flaw or a quirky trait, it’s often a survival strategy learned early in life. Research in developmental psychology tells us that children adapt to their caregivers’ emotional availability (or lack thereof) in order to feel safe and secure. If a parent or caregiver was emotionally unpredictable, reactive, or unable to regulate their feelings, we may have learned: If I keep them calm, I’ll be safe. If I keep them happy, I’ll be okay. This pattern, known in attachment theory as anxious attachment , wires us to focus on others’ needs as a way to feel stable in the world. We become hyper-attuned to others’ moods and discomfort—often at the cost of our own. We begin managing their  emotions, and over time, we lose touch with our own and become disconnected from ourselves. The Cost of Chronic People-Pleasing While people-pleasing can make relationships seem smoother on the surface, it comes at a steep internal cost. Resentment builds. Burnout creeps in. Authenticity disappears. Loneliness grows. Yes— loneliness.  Because the more we abandon ourselves to make others comfortable, the more disconnected we feel from our own needs, feelings, and values. We show up in relationships, but we’re not fully in  them. We’re performing, managing, accommodating. That’s not connection. That’s survival. And eventually, our body will tell us. Stress-related health issues, anxiety, sleep disruption, digestive problems, or chronic fatigue can all be tied to the ongoing pressure of suppressing our truth. (The research connecting repressed emotions with health outcomes is growing—see Dr. Gabor Maté’s work on the mind-body connection.) So what do we do? The Game-Changer: Four Small Words One phrase changed everything for me: “I’m not willing to.” It sounds simple, but it’s revolutionary. It signals a shift from self-abandonment to self-respect. Instead of saying yes because you’re afraid to say no, you say: “I’m not willing to.” Instead of cushioning your truth with over-explaining or apologizing, you say: “I’m not willing to.” Instead of making someone else’s comfort your responsibility, you say: “I’m not willing to.” Why does this phrase matter so much? Because it centers your agency , not your excuses.It affirms your limits , without blaming others.It reinforces that your well-being matters , just as much as anyone else’s. Why It Works (Psychologically Speaking) This shift lines up with what Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) teaches us: the importance of values-based living. In ACT, we learn to acknowledge uncomfortable emotions without letting them steer the ship. We act from what we care about, not from what we’re afraid of. Saying “I’m not willing to” is an act of inner-connection . You are listening to your own feelings. You are identifying your boundary. You are taking responsibility for your life. And you are trusting that others can handle their reactions. It’s not always easy. I still catch myself backsliding. But over time, saying these words, especially in small, low-stakes moments, has helped me build a relationship with myself that feels more authentic. Start Small. Start Now. Here’s your gentle challenge:Pick one small thing this week that you aren’t willing to do —and say so. It might be as simple as: “I’m not willing to take that on right now.” “I’m not willing to stay late today.” “I’m not willing to skip lunch again.” Notice how it feels. It may be uncomfortable at first. That’s okay. Growth usually is. But also notice what opens up inside you when you speak from that place of truth. You might feel lighter. Stronger. A little more like you . That’s connection. And it starts from within. I’m cheering you on. CLICK HERE to subscribe to my Points of Connection so that you stay in the loop on new blog posts and other fun announcements.

Last Saturday night, I stood beneath a crisp Minnesota sky, eyes scanning the darkness for something truly rare: a planetary alignment that won’t happen again for another 15 years. If the horizon were perfectly clear, we could have seen seven planets in the evening sky. Did we see all seven? Not quite.  But even catching just a few, along with the crescent moon, was a breathtaking site through a magnified lens. At Staring Lake Observatory  in Eden Prairie, our astronomy guide spoke about the orbits of planets, the precise way they move through space, and the intricate patterns  woven throughout our universe. As I listened, I couldn’t help but notice the deeper truth in what he was saying: Nature loves on patterns. From the gravitational pull keeping planets in motion to the way seasons cycle through renewal and decay, patterns are everywhere. And not just in the cosmos—in our lives, too. Some patterns serve us. Others? Not so much. Recognizing the Patterns We Live By It made me think about the patterns I unconsciously follow. The habits I don’t question, the automatic ways I respond to stress, boredom, or discomfort. Some of them are good. Some of them are comfortable. And some of them keep me disconnected and make me feel lonely. We all have these patterns, whether we realize it or not. Some were formed in childhood. Some were survival strategies. Some just built up over time, slipping into our daily routines unnoticed, like toxic chemicals. And here’s the thing about some of our long-held patterns: they don’t want to be changed. They will fight to survive. That’s why Lent—or any season of intentional letting go—can be so powerful. It asks us to pause and consider: What am I doing on autopilot that might not be serving me? What have I been clinging to that’s actually keeping me stuck? What am I using to distract myself from deeper discomfort? Lent isn’t just about giving something up—it’s about connecting with what matters most. It’s about getting closer to your Higher Guidance and hearing the whispers of your soul and heart. The distractions we remove aren’t just things taking up space—they’re the noise that drowns out the deeper wisdom within us. The Power of Breaking Patterns For the next several weeks, I’m embracing a Season of Renewal, focusing on breaking patterns that keep me from being fully present and, more importantly, leaning into what truly matters. This includes: A modified fast, adjusting my diet in a way that helps me feel more mindful and intentional A digital detox, stepping back from distractions that pull me away from real connection (internally and externally) Not as an obligation. Not because I "should." But because I want to see what happens when I remove the noise. What will I notice? What will rise to the surface? What parts of me have been buried beneath habit and distraction? I don’t expect it to be easy. In fact, I expect there will be moments where I reach for my phone or crave something comforting. But I also know that resisting the pull of old patterns is how we reclaim our awareness. What About You? You don’t have to do a full fast. You don’t even have to call it Lent. But if something in you is nudging, saying, “Maybe it’s time to shake things up,” listen to that voice. What’s one thing you could remove from your life, even temporarily for just 40 days, to see what it reveals? It could be: The habit of constantly checking your phone The extra cup of coffee you’ve been relying on for energy The nightly Netflix binge that numbs instead of relaxes The self-critical thoughts you allow to run on repeat The way you say yes when you really mean no The goal isn’t deprivation. The goal is awareness . Patterns, like planetary orbits, will keep repeating unless something shifts. Maybe this season is an invitation to create that shift. To make space. To step into something new. I’d love to hear from you. What’s one pattern you’ve noticed in your own life that you’d like to release—or one you’d like to cultivate? Leave a comment below and let’s reflect together. CLICK HERE to subscribe to my Points of Connection so that you stay in the loop on new blog posts and other fun announcements.

Have you ever caught yourself in an unhelpful pattern but just don't know how to break it? Truly, most of us don’t even notice we’re doing it. We just feel the urge, act on it, and move on until that urge comes again. Usually it isn't until after several painful run-ins that we finally stop to think, "What is going on here?" That’s why fasting, whether from certain foods, technology, or other ingrained habits, can be such a powerful spiritual and self-awareness practice . It’s not just about deprivation and sacrifice. It’s about breaking the pattern  long enough to actually notice what’s underneath. Because here’s the truth: Most of the time, those urges aren’t random. They’re rising up from something deeper within you that's begging for your attention. And when we pause instead of automatically reacting, we give ourselves the chance to see what’s really going on. Why Fasting (From Anything) Works Fasting isn’t just about giving something up —it’s about creating space  to notice what’s been there all along. Whether it’s food, social media, caffeine, or even negative self-talk, the real power isn’t in the thing you’re removing. The power is in the pause —that moment where you normally would have reached for your phone or grabbed a snack, but instead, you stop . That pause? That’s where connection happens. That's intimacy. It’s where you meet yourself. It’s where you hear the emotions that have been trying to get your attention. It's where you hear the voice of intuition (or God or the Universe) that's been speaking to you all along. It’s where you notice how often you distract yourself instead of truly listening to what you need. How to Start—Without Overcomplicating It You don’t have to do anything extreme to experience the benefits of fasting. The best way to start is by choosing one small pattern to disrupt —just enough to notice the shift. Here are a few easy ways to begin: 1. Start With Awareness Before changing anything, spend one day simply noticing  your patterns. When do you instinctively grab your phone? When do you snack even if you’re not hungry? When do you check email for no real reason? Just watch. No judgment. Just awareness. 2. Pick One Small Disruption Instead of trying to overhaul your entire routine, pick one habit  to shift: Social Media Detox:  No phone for the first 30 minutes of the day. Mindful Eating:  No snacks between meals—when the urge comes, pause and notice. Screen-Free Nights:  No screens after 8 p.m. (or set your own boundary). It doesn’t have to be dramatic. The goal is not perfection— it’s presence. 3. When the Urge Hits, Pause This is the most important part. When you feel the pull to reach for your usual habit—don’t. Pause. Take a deep breath. Ask yourself: What am I feeling right now? What do I actually need? What’s underneath this urge? You don’t have to force an answer. Just sit with it. The insight comes with time. 4. Don’t Replace One Addiction With Another This is a sneaky one and is the number one mistake most people make. We often fast from something, only to replace it with another distraction. Giving up cookies but eating extra pasta. Cutting down on phone time but binging TV instead. Reducing social media but checking email every five minutes. That’s just trading one unconscious habit for another . Instead, let the space remain empty for a moment.  Let yourself feel what comes up. 5. Meet Yourself With Compassion This isn’t about willpower or deprivation. It’s about gentle awareness. When (not if) you slip, don’t punish yourself. Just notice. Learn from it. Approach yourself with curiosity, not criticism. Stay connected with the urge and be curious about the underlying need while you're doing the thing. Stay connected. The goal isn’t to “get it right.” The goal is to see yourself more clearly and reconnect with what truly matters. Fasting, whether from food, technology, or other habits, should be done with self-awareness and care . If you have a history of disordered eating, anxiety, or any mental health condition that could make fasting harmful, consider modifying the practice  to fit your well-being. The goal isn’t deprivation or self-punishment—it’s awareness and connection.  Always prioritize your mental and physical health in any practice of letting go. What You Gain When You Break the Pattern Every time you pause instead of reacting, you’re literally rewiring your brain. You’re breaking the automatic loop. You’re creating space for new neural connections. You’re learning how to sit with discomfort instead of numbing it. You’re getting closer to yourself, your emotions, and your higher guidance. That’s why fasting, from anything , can be a spiritual practice. Fasting isn't just about giving something up. It’s about returning to yourself . And that kind of awareness? That kind of connection? That changes everything. What’s one small pattern you could disrupt this week? Try it, see what happens, and let me know how it goes! CLICK HERE to subscribe to my Points of Connection so that you stay in the loop on new blog posts and other fun announcements.

Fifteen years ago, I had a vision. I wanted to be exactly where I am today. It was a big goal—one that took over 15 years to accomplish. And now that I’m here… I’m not really any happier than I was back then. I mean, my life is objectively better. I’m far less depressed. I feel more whole. But that’s not because of the goal itself—it’s because of everything in between.  The education. The therapy. The life changes. The divorce recovery. The spiritual practice. The relationships I've gained. The way I learned to sit with myself, to grow, to heal. Y'all, that stuff was not on my vision board. But if achieving my biggest goal didn’t bring lasting happiness, what the heck does? The Science of Why Success Doesn't Bring Happiness It turns out, the end result wasn’t the thing.  The process was. And when I really sit with this, I realize—this isn’t just my personal experience. There’s actual science behind it. Psychologists have a term for this: hedonic adaptation .   Research shows that whether you achieve something amazing (like landing your dream job or building your dream home) or experience something difficult (like a breakup or even the loss of a limb), your happiness eventually settles back to where it was before. (A little discouraging, I know.) This explains why, despite reaching a huge career milestone that I've been chasing for years, I don’t feel dramatically different (drat!). In fact I'm left wondering, what the heck was that chase for? Can you relate? If Goals Don’t Lead to Fulfillment, What Does? Research suggests that fulfillment doesn’t come from goal accomplishment alone, rather it comes from living in alignment with your values.   Studies on well-being show that people who focus on intrinsic values, things like connection, personal growth, and contribution, typically to feel more fulfilled than those who are on the perpetual pursuit of more: more money, accolades, material things, square footage, etc. In other words, the deeper source of meaning isn’t in what we accomplish but in the why  we pursue it. I'm sorry to say that keeping up with the Jones' or your family's expectations of you are not actually going to make you happy in the long run. It'll just make you feel trapped, tired, and depleted. The Real Rewards Are in the Process I was befuddled. Why even set goals in the first place of success doesn't bring happiness? Am I just mindlessly living out my cultural programming to accomplish goals? Is it because I think reaching my goals will change something fundamental about who I am or how people perceive me or how I perceive myself? Will I be a better person because I accomplished my goals? Or is it because I want a fuller experience of life? To know that I matter... that I loved and am loved. External accomplishments will never satisfy these deeper human needs. Think about the last time you worked toward something big. A degree, a new job, a major personal milestone. How long did your happiness about the thing really last? Probably not long, if you're being honest. But– How muc h of that experience shaped you? The discipline, the learning, the resilience—those were the real rewards, not just the end result. What Kind of Goals Actually Bring Meaning? There’s also something to be said about the kinds of goals you set. Some goals are rooted in extrinsic motivation —things like recognition, financial success, or status. Others come from intrinsic motivation —your inner values, desires for growth, fulfillment, meaning, and love. Research in psychology shows that people who focus on intrinsic goals experience greater life satisfaction and well-being. It’s not about checking something off a list; it’s about becoming the kind of person you want to be and the kind of person that you want to be remembered as when you're gone. The Key to Lasting Fulfillment When I look back at my journey, what actually changed me wasn’t the goal itself—it was the process of growing into it. And that growth wasn’t random. It happened because, whether I realized it or not, I was pursuing something deeper than just success. I was following values—relationships, spirituality, curiosity, healing, wisdom. The goal was just the container. The real work, the real fulfillment , came from living in alignment with what mattered to me. And that's pretty cool. A Better Question to Ask Yourself So maybe the real question isn’t “What goals should I set next?”  but “What values do I want to live out?” And if that’s the case, maybe setting goals isn’t about getting somewhere new. Maybe it’s about deepening the way you move through life, making sure each step you take is rooted in what truly matters most to you. What This Means for Your Next Goal As I think about my future, I'm not going to just set goals—I want to set value-driven  goals. Goals that reflect what I truly care about. Goals that help me grow into a deeper version of myself and more deeply live out what matters most to me in this season of life. Things like health, connection, adventure, sustainability, and stability. What about you? What if your next goal wasn’t just about achievement, but about transformation? How would that change the way you move through life?   CLICK HERE to subscribe to my Points of Connection so that you stay in the loop on new blog posts and other fun announcements.

If you’re dreading Valentine’s Day because it feels like a spotlight on what’s missing in your life, you’re not alone. I used to feel the same way—until one year, I did something unexpected. And it made a surprising difference. The Moment I Realized a Needed a Valentine... from Myself It was February of 2017, and I found myself sitting on my couch, alone yet again, feeling sad and sorry for myself. I was thinking about Valentine’s Day coming up and felt down that I didn’t have a romantic partner to celebrate with. In that state of mind and heart, it seemed like everyone  but me was in a happy relationship or ideal circumstances (delusional, I know). But that’s where I was. I spent more than a few days wallowing in my sadness and loneliness, and then I got an idea: I decided to send myself the loveliest Valentine’s card and love letter I had ever received. Yep, I was going to send a card to myself. It Felt Silly—But Also Kind of...Right At first, it felt ridiculous. Who does that?  But I didn’t care, and no one else needed to know. Plus, deep down, I knew I needed it. I needed to hear the words I longed for someone else to say to me. I needed to feel special, even if no one else was stepping up to the plate. So I hunted down the perfect card, took it home, and wrote the most heartfelt message I could muster— everything I had ever hoped to hear from another person. I sealed it, addressed it to myself, and popped it in the mailbox. When the Card Arrived, Something Surprised Me A few days later, when it arrived, it felt surprisingly... good. It wasn’t the same as having someone else affirm those things for me, but it didn’t feel fake or flat either. In fact, it felt like a lifeline. The words felt true. It was a small but powerful reminder that  the love and validation I am waiting for can come from within me. Stop Waiting for Someone Else to See You I didn’t know it at the time, but that little Valentine’s card was the start of something bigger. It taught me that while it’s wonderful to receive love and affirmation from others, there’s something even more important: learning to give it to yourself.  Just because the words were coming from me  didn’t make them any less true. Are You Stuck in the Waiting Game? How often do you spend your life waiting? Waiting for a partner to say the right thing. Waiting for a friend to really notice how much you’re struggling. Waiting for someone, anyone , to validate your worth or make you feel special. And when it doesn’t happen, you feel unseen and unimportant. You withdraw even further from your relationships, bitterness and resentment creeping in. And when it does  happen, you just end up deflecting it! Ugh.  It’s a vicious cycle that leaves you lonelier and lonelier. What If You Stopped Waiting? What if you stopped trying to get something that others aren’t willing or capable of giving? What if you gave yourself the love and care you’re so desperate for? I’m not saying this replaces the need for connection with others (let’s be real—we are social mammals, and we do  need real connection from people). However... When you’re emotionally available to yourself: You show others how to love you. You live more from a place of abundance than lack. You show up in your relationships with contentment and trust  because you know  you’re going to be okay. You know  you are already loved. And here’s the thing: it’s way easier to attract meaningful connections when you treat yourself with the same love and respect you desire from others. Your Relationships Mirror the One You Have With Yourself Let me put that another way: The types of relationships you attract mirror the relationship you have with yourself. If you’re feeling unseen this Valentine’s Day—or any day—consider this your nudge to show yourself some love. Below are a few ideas to get you started. 4 Ways to Practice Self-Love 1. Send Yourself a Valentine Yep, I’m serious. Head to the store (or your fav stationary website), find a card that speaks to you, and write yourself the kind of message you’d love to hear. Don’t hold back —this is your moment to celebrate all the things that make you amazing. Seal it, stamp it, and send it. When it arrives, take a moment to really soak it in. 2. Create a “Love Me List” Every night for the rest of February, write down one thing you appreciate about yourself. It doesn’t have to be groundbreaking. Maybe you handled a tough work conversation with grace or made it through a chaotic morning without losing your mind. By the end of the month, you’ll have 28 reasons why you’re worth celebrating—and a much clearer sense of your own value. 3. Say “No” Without Guilt Self-love means protecting your energy. This month, practice saying no to one thing that doesn’t align with your needs or values. It could be an event you’re not excited about or a task you don’t have capacity for. Saying no creates space for what matters most—and reminds you that your time limited and precious. 4. Reach Out to Someone Else Loneliness shrinks when we take small steps toward connection. Think of someone in your life who might need a little love—a friend, a coworker, even your neighbor. Send them a quick text, drop off a small gift, or (if you’re feeling bold) mail them a Valentine. Send them a message that would make their heart happy. Giving love is one of the fastest ways to feel it. This Valentine’s Day… I hope you’ll do something different. Instead of focusing on what’s missing or waiting for someone else to make you feel special, take the lead. Write yourself the love letter you deserve. Celebrate the little things that make you, you . Remind yourself that you are worthy of love, connection, and kindness—just as you are.   CLICK HERE to subscribe to my Points of Connection so that you stay in the loop on new blog posts and other fun announcements.

Ever have one of those parenting (or relationship) moments you wish you could erase and start over? I had one recently. My child, on the brink of adolescence, was pushing boundaries, and I wasn’t in the best headspace. My frustrations about various things piled up and I eventually reacted in a way that left both of us feeling tense and disconnected. It happens to all of us. Relationships — whether with our kids, partners, or ourselves — are inherently messy and experience ruptures from time to time. Relationship ruptures are normal and are bound to occur. What truly matters is how we choose to repair and reconnect . Left unchecked, that disconnection can quickly turn into loneliness . The Science Behind Our Need for Connection Wondering why those moments can feel so awful? According to UCLA professor Matthew Lieberman , our brains are biologically wired for connection. When you experience social rejection — including boundary violations — your brain respond the same way they do to physical pain. Emotional pain is physical pain. Think about it: being ignored, left out, misunderstood, or having your lines crossed doesn’t just hurt emotionally; it hurts physically , too. That’s partly why relationship trauma has such a negative impact on our overall health and well-being. On the flip side, positive social interactions activate your brain’s reward centers, flooding you with feel-good chemicals like dopamine. Connection isn’t just a luxury, it’s as vital as food or water. That’s why loneliness can feel so unbearable; it’s your brain’s way of alerting you that something essential is missing. Loneliness is a hunger cue for connection. But here’s the thing: while you’re wired for connection, fear often stands in the way. You fear rejection, judgment, or simply not knowing how to make things better. Right? Here are Three Transformative Ways to Reconnect and Improve Connection 1. Mend the Rupture, from the Inside & Out My Experience (sparing you the details): After my tense moment with my son, I felt a wave of shame and regret. In the past, I might have let that define my relationship for weeks. Instead, I turned to my signature framework: the HEART of Inner-Connection to guide me and I was able to repair the next morning: H — Higher Guidance: I sought a sense of inner calm and connection to something greater than myself (for me, it’s God). E — Embodiment: I focused on regulating my physical and emotional states through deep breathing and mindfulness. A — Aspiration: I revisited my core values, like integrity and humility, to ground my next steps. R — Relationship with Self: I practiced self-compassion, reminding myself that making mistakes is part of being human and being a parent on planet earth. T — Trust: I trusted that our existing bond was strong enough to weather this rupture and I trusted I’d be okay even after I swallowed my pride. Action Steps: Apologize: Offer a genuine apology that owns your part. Validate Feelings: Acknowledge the other person’s perspective so they feel heard. Rebuild Trust: A calm, open conversation can pave the way for quicker repair and renewed connection. Try This: Identify one relationship that could use some repair. Offer a sincere apology, express empathy, and actively listen to their response. Pro Tip: Apologizing doesn’t mean you were necessarily in the wrong or that the other person was right. Apologizing is a value-based behavior — that means you value the relationship and so you choose to meet the need of the relationship. 2. Be Fully Present, without Distraction Connection doesn’t happen on autopilot. Real connection requires showing up wholeheartedly and giving someone your undivided attention, no phone, no distractions. Action Step: The next time you interact with someone, challenge yourself to focus completely on them for just five minutes. Notice how that changes the tone of the conversation. Pro Tip: Real connection rarely happens over text message. Save yourself the heartache of continued frustration and disconnection, and talk in a live conversation where you can see each other’s faces. 3. Connect from the Inside -> Out When you experience a relationship rupture, often the automatic reaction can be to point fingers and blame the other person. But that will never lead to repair. Whether you over-stepped or someone crossed a boundary with you, it’s important to pause an connect with yourself internally to determine what really happened for you. Action Step: Spend a few moments tonight tuning in to what you value or need. You might consider journaling, meditation, or even a brief walk outside to help you get more connected internally. Pro Tip: You know that you’re ready to repair when your body is calm, you know what you need, and you can think and speak clearly. Embrace the Messiness of Real Relationships Genuine connection isn’t about being perfect or always being nice or never hurting anyone’s feelings (impossible!); it’s about becoming more aware of yourself, your feelings, your needs and limitations, as well as those of others. Each rupture is an opportunity for growth, every awkward moment a chance for deepening understanding, and every small step toward connection is a step toward healing. The next time you feel disconnected — whether from someone else or from yourself — remember: it’s never too late to repair, reconnect, and restore. Stay Connected and Transform Your Relationships If you found these insights valuable and want to continue building deeper connections, twice a month, I share stories, insights, and practical steps in my free newsletter to help you create more meaningful relationships with yourself and others. CLICK HERE to subscribe to my Points of Connection newsletter and join a growing community.

The vast majority of people that I've worked with in my psychotherapy practice for more than a decade want to feel more peace. In fact, I've known very few people in general who don't wish to have more peace in their life (myself included!). So I've been paying close attention to what actually makes a difference. And I've discovered 5 habits that you don't want to ignore. I've explored what the research has to say about it, what science can contribute, and where spirituality has an impact. While I do personally practice these strategies, I will never claim to have them down perfectly. But I honestly don't think you need to practice them perfectly in order to experience significant benefit. Just getting started makes all the difference. 1) Feeling connected to a loving Higher Guidance. According to research, you don’t need to believe in God or belong to a religion in order to feel at peace. So if God or formal religion doesn’t work for you, that’s a-okay. What does promote peace is feeling connected to something greater than yourself, an energy or concept of love, compassion, and wisdom that is an ever present, guiding, and reliable force in your life. 2):   Practicing embodiment. Embodiment means being in and consciously connected to your body. You’re aware of the sensations in your body, you’re aware of your breathing, and you’re aware of your emotions. When you are consciously connected and present to your body, then you are able to regulate or manage your thoughts and feelings with greater ease.  3) : Defining what matters most to you. Having clarity on your aspirations, the kind of person you want to be, the kind of life you want to live, and the kind of impact you want to have in the world helps with decision making and gives you a deeper sense of meaning and purpose. When you know who you are and what you are about, you no longer need to turn to other people for every little thing. Yes, sometimes it’s still helpful to seek wise counsel. However, you will experience more inner peace when you know who you are, what you stand for, and what you want, and then act accordingly. 4) : Developing a healthy relationship with yourself. In order to cultivate healthy relationships with other people, you need to cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the foundation of all other relationships. Your external relationships actually mirror your internal relationship with yourself. So if your external relationships cause you a lot of stress, it’s time to go inward and get in right relationship with yourself. 5): Building trust. Peace is an absolute impossibility without trust. Without trust, we remain in a state of fear. For example, if I don’t trust that the chair I’m sitting on is going to hold me up, I’m going to spend a lot of emotional and mental energy fearing the chair falling out from under me. If I'm talking with a friend, I won't even be paying attention to what they're saying because I'll be too busy thinking about the chair. But when I trust that the chair going to hold me, I feel safe, secure, and free to just be myself. This is the kind of relationship we want to have with ourselves and our Higher Power. Solid trust creates freedom and peace. While none of these practices require perfection, simply taking the first steps toward implementing them can have a huge impact on your life satisfaction and sense of well-being. Remember, peace isn't found in the absence of challenges but how we respond to them. It's in our capacity to navigate them with grace, resilience, and trust.

Do you feel lonely in the wake of the loss of a significant relationship or job? Or perhaps as a result of an accident or injury? When combined, trauma and loneliness amplify each other, making it all the more difficult to heal emotionally and return to psychological and physical well-being. Nearly 30 years ago, my dad Harry died at the age of 45 from a heart attack. The autopsy revealed scar tissue on his heart, evidence that he most certainly experienced multiple heart attacks prior to the final blow; heart attacks that he likely kept to himself or brushed off as indigestion as he took another shot of Maalox. My dad was incredibly social and connected. He was a middle child among seven other siblings, a small business owner, and beloved in his community. Harry was one of the most outgoing, helpful, and gregarious people anyone could know. Harry was the kind of person that would help anyone with anything, whether it was repairing an engine, restoring an old mahogany Chris-Craft boat, building a new garage, or helping with a school project. If you needed it, he would figure out a way to make it happen. Anyone could count on him for help and for a beer. He wasn’t a fan of doctors. If you sliced open your finger, he’d probably suggest putting some Watkins Salve on it, have a swig of beer – you’ll be fine. To the untrained eye, no one would have ever classified my dad as lonely. The untrained eye wouldn’t see his chain smoking as a coping mechanism for unresolved childhood trauma. The untrained eye wouldn’t see his nearly continuous consumption of beer and vodka as desperate attempts to disconnect from decades of suppressed emotional pain. He spent 45 years of his one, precious life not in social isolation but in emotional isolation fueled by childhood trauma and maintained by chemical addiction. It wasn’t his fault. Although his methods weren’t always healthy and were sometimes downright harmful, I believe he was genuinely doing the best he could with the few tools he had to try and create a better life for himself and his family. Loneliness and trauma are different experiences, both incredibly nuanced, but come with similar negative health effects that are compounded when combined. Harry's life fulfilled the statistical promises of trauma and loneliness: heart disease, chemical addiction, obesity, poor self-care, lack of emotional intimacy, and, of course, premature death. Trauma and loneliness can both can accompany a fundamental belief that, “I’m not okay,” and “The world is not okay.” These intertwined experiences can actually make it more difficult to get the social-emotional support you really need to heal, digging you deeper into a hole of emotional isolation. You can check out some of the research here. Harry's story is a poignant reminder that beneath the surface of outward sociability, many people grapple with deep emotional pain. His journey underscores the critical importance of addressing trauma and loneliness, not just for ourselves, but for those around us. If you find yourself struggling with similar feelings of isolation or unresolved trauma, know that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or professionals who can provide the support and understanding you need. Engaging in open conversations about mental health can help break down the barriers of stigma and isolation that many people face. For those who see someone they care about exhibiting signs of emotional distress, take the time to offer a listening ear and compassionate support. Sometimes, the simple act of being present for someone, without judgment, can make a world of difference. Despite his early death, Harry's legacy is a testament to the power of resilience and the human spirit's capacity to seek connection even through pain. May his story inspire you to look beyond the surface, to offer empathy and support to those who may be struggling, and to prioritize your own emotional well-being. It takes great courage to choose the path of healing. In the end, the path to healing is a solitary choice but not a solitary journey. It is one we can walk together, finding hope and okayness amidst the chaos of the world. By embracing connection and actively working towards healing, we can honor the memory of those like Harry and create a more compassionate and understanding world for all. Let’s work together to create the meaningful peace, purpose, and connection you want and deserve. Book a free support session today to get started. I’d love to connect with you. Would you like to receive weekly encouragement and support from me? Click the button below to subscribe. (you can unsubscribe at any time but I hope you'll stick around) Please forward this to a friend or share on social media. Thank you! And remember, you are always loved no matter what. Pin this post to read it later Sherri M. Herman, MA, LPCC is a spiritual life coach, speaker, and psychotherapist who is known for being a compassionate guide has been helping others achieve their goals since 2010. Having been twice divorced herself, she loves helping women overcome the challenges and loneliness of divorce while balancing the needs of self-love, parenting, and life. She lives near Minneapolis, MN with her husband, son (aged 12 at the time of this publishing), dog (Spirit), cat (Daisy), and axolotl (Mochi). She loves movie and game nights with her family, hosting potlucks and bonfires, working out at the gym, and going camping with family-friends. << Click Here to Get Your Free Mini-Journaling Course >> I’m here to support you if you need. I can provide you with spiritual coaching regardless of where you are located. Click below to schedule a free support session with me and I'll help you assess what you're needing.

Do you struggle with boredom or emptiness? Do you frequently busy yourself to avoid being alone with your thoughts? These can be sneaky signs of loneliness which, left unchecked, can wreak havoc on all aspects of your health and well-being, finances, and relationships. 😥 Join me as I explore why our efforts to avoid loneliness often backfire and what we can do to genuinely connect with ourselves and others. Through my own experiences and hard-earned lessons, I’ll share how to break free from the cycle of loneliness and find true fulfillment. 🌟 There are many things you can do to feel better, like schedule more activities with people, travel, read, play games on your phone, get a new job, volunteer, etc. The options for connecting with people, engaging in meaningful activities, and having fun are endless. 💃🚴 I'm sure you could come up with many more ideas! But then, why are we in a loneliness epidemic? Why is it that, in a time with more options for connection than ever before, we are lonelier than ever? Why do so many people feel deeply lonely and go straight to the TV once they get back home from time with family or friends? Friend, can you relate? 🙋 Millions of people can too, and I used to as well. Many times our seemingly good and healthy activities can masquerade as distractions and don’t improve our long-term emotional well-being at all. When you engage in activities to avoid feeling lonely, you’ll find yourself on a hamster wheel of discontentment. 🐹 It’s not so much about what you’re doing but what your behavior is motivated by. Are you consciously or unconsciously motivated by the avoidance of pain? Are you trying to get away from your suffering? 🤔 Or is your behavior driven by what truly matters most to you? Is it a natural outgrowth of meaning and purpose? Are you pursuing connection because of something important to you?The first time I got married (at age 22), I did it because I didn’t want to feel left out among my friends and family who were getting married; I wanted to feel special and included. I didn’t want to be alone and I desperately wanted to feel like I belonged. I wanted to stop feeling lonely. Well, news flash, the marriage didn’t result in feeling any sense of belonging, connection, or inclusion. And it certainly didn’t resolve my loneliness. It only made matters worse. 😣 It’s so easy to get this mixed up. You have countless messages in your face everyday trying to convince you that some new solution will solve all of your problems and finally get you the peace you’re seeking. How about that weed control for your yard? Those people in the commercials look pretty relieved once those nasty weeds are gone. Whew! Thank goodness! Now they can go on living with all of their problems solved forever and ever. 😆 I mean, right?! This is what we see everyday. One.more.thing. that’s going to be the be-all-end-all of our problems. Gosh, I wish it were the case. Don’t you? I wish all of the fancy leather purses, the perfect gym body, the name brands, the people-pleasing… all of it… I, too, wish all of it could be the solution. It would be so easy! But it never is. 😪 Eventually the hamster wheel comes to a stop and you have to face the music. I finally got off my hamster wheel after the devastation of my second divorce. I slowly stopped chasing after more relationships to distract from my pain and loneliness. I stopped looking to substances to mask my lack of belonging, and I curtailed my out-of-control spending that I thought was making me happy. Does this mean I’ve stopped having fun or doing all distracting things? Gosh no. I’m still a human on planet earth. I love chocolate, time with friends, and buying new pens and planners. 📔🖊️ ✅ But, I’m no longer primarily motivated by pain avoidance. That’s the difference. When you change your relationship with your suffering (your loneliness) it no longer controls you or runs your life. You get back in the driver seat; your life and relationships begin to flourish in a whole new way. You get freedom. 🌟 Friend, what hamster wheel are you on? What are you repeatedly chasing after that never leaves you feeling really satisfied? What’s creating a wedge in your relationships? What are you pursuing that only brings short-term relief? I want to know what you're chasing after that never leaves you satisfied. More importantly, I want to know: what do you really want? Let’s work together to create the meaningful peace, purpose, and connection you want and deserve. Book a free support session today to get started. I’d love to connect with you. Would you like to receive weekly encouragement and support from me? Click the button below to subscribe. (you can unsubscribe at any time but I hope you'll stick around) Please forward this to a friend or share on social media. Thank you! And remember, you are always loved no matter what. Pin this post to read it later Sherri M. Herman, MA, LPCC is a spiritual life coach, speaker, and psychotherapist who is known for being a compassionate guide has been helping others achieve their goals since 2010. Having been twice divorced herself, she loves helping women overcome the challenges and loneliness of divorce while balancing the needs of self-love, parenting, and life. She lives near Minneapolis, MN with her husband, son (aged 12 at the time of this publishing), dog (Spirit), cat (Daisy), and axolotl (Mochi). She loves movie and game nights with her family, hosting potlucks and bonfires, working out at the gym, and going camping with family-friends. << Click Here to Get Your Free Mini-Journaling Course >> I’m here to support you if you need. I can provide you with spiritual coaching regardless of where you are located. Click below to schedule a free support session with me and I'll help you assess what you're needing.

Do you ever feel frustrated or disappointed when people in your life don’t behave how you want them to? How often do you get attached to how you think someone should or shouldn't be behaving or responding to you? If you've ever felt frustrated, annoyed, or angry because someone is behaving so differently from what you want or expect, number one: you're a normal human; number two: stick with me. I'm going to talk about how to stop putting your emotional well-being purely in the hands of others and how to take back your power. This can save you from the clutches of chronic loneliness. A Muddy Road In the classic Zen koan (a Buddhist story similar to a parable) entitled, “Muddy Road,” Tanzan and Ekido were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling. Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection. "Come on, girl," said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud. Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he could no longer restrain himself. "We monks don't go near females," he told Tanzan, "especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?" "I left the girl there," said Tanzan. "Are you still carrying her?" Who are you carrying? Whose behavior in your life is taking up so much of your energy and attention that it’s practically making you sick? Is it your ex or someone you're interested in? Whose actions are keeping you in a perpetual state of anxiety or frustration? Is it your parents or children? Who is making you feel overlooked, disrespected, or discarded? Is it the friend group that you no longer feel connected to or is it your boss? When you focus more on other people’s behavior, you give away your power. Ekido was so consumed by his judgment of Tanzan’s actions; it was his own thinking, not Tanzan's behavior, that was causing his suffering. We can just imagine him walking back to the monastery, seething inside with a tight chest, tension in his body, and tunnel vision. He was caught up in his mind, disconnected from himself, and no longer present. How often do you give away your emotional well-being to other people’s behavior? When our focus is outward, our sense of “okayness” is precarious because it’s dependent on other people behaving as we expect or want. That’s like entrusting your peace to the weather. Your emotional well-being affects everything—your sleep, eating habits, exercise habits, self-perception, spending habits, goal pursuits, and of course, your actions and feelings in relationships. You wouldn't want to leave these important pieces of your emotional well-being up to something as fluid and unpredictable as the weather. Your emotional well-being also impacts the type of people you attract people into your life and the extent to which you push people away. The more you focus on outward judgment, the more likely you are to feel lonely. Getting caught in judging other people’s behavior often leads to a sense of separation and disconnection. Do you know anyone who is always focused on other people and is a very peaceful person? It’s pretty rare. Instead, you’ll see their mood fluctuate depending on how they are judging the people’s behavior. I will be the first to admit that I unconsciously lived my life this way for a long time. But I’m not perfect and I’m not done growing. I still get caught in this pattern sometimes, after all, I’m only human. However, years of mindfulness practice has significantly reduced this tendency and I’m more likely to catch myself when it happens. How about for you? How often do you find yourself focusing on other people’s behavior? Do you usually feel content, satisfied, or neutral? Or, do you feel frustrated, disappointed, or downright angry? If your experience is the latter, I’m here for you. And I’ve got a solution. Take back your power by connecting inward first. Meaning, connect with your feelings, needs, values, and desires beneath the chatter of your mind. When you take back your power, your emotional well-being isn’t tied to other people’s behavior because it's tied to your ability to stay true to yourself and control your own behavior. This protects you from chronic disconnection and loneliness. When you connect with yourself first, you lead from the inside out; you become an actor rather than a reactor. You become the hero of your life rather than a victim waiting for someone else to save you. If you want to start getting connected from the inside out, sign up for free my Journaling Mini-Course. I'll send you a free guide that will walk you through exactly how to get started with a journaling practice, how to overcome obstacles, and I'll give you journaling prompts that foster self-discovery so that you never have to fear a blank page. Would you like to receive weekly encouragement and support from me? Click the button below to subscribe. (you can unsubscribe at any time but I hope you'll stick around) Please forward this to a friend or share on social media. Thank you! And remember, you are always loved no matter what. Pin this post to read it later Sherri M. Herman, MA, LPCC is a spiritual life coach, speaker, and psychotherapist who is known for being a compassionate guide has been helping others achieve their goals since 2010. Having been twice divorced herself, she loves helping women overcome the challenges and loneliness of divorce while balancing the needs of self-love, parenting, and life. She lives near Minneapolis, MN with her husband, son (aged 12 at the time of this publishing), dog (Spirit), cat (Daisy), and axolotl (Mochi). She loves movie and game nights with her family, hosting potlucks and bonfires, working out at the gym, and going camping with family-friends. << Click Here to Get Your Free Mini-Journaling Course >> I’m here to support you if you need. I can provide you with spiritual coaching regardless of where you are located. Click below to schedule a free support session with me and I'll help you assess what you're needing.

Do you wish you had some simple tools to help you feel better? It's "Maycember" and when the stress and chaos of life looms large, self-care often takes a backseat especially if you have littles in your life. Yet, amidst the chaos, there are simple, yet profoundly impactful tools that can serve as beacons of solace and strength. In this article, I provide you with 5 simple, free yet powerful and effective tools for managing your mental health. From the soothing embrace of visualization to the tender touch of self-love, these practices offer not just momentary reprieve, but enduring pathways to inner peace and well-being. 5 Life Changing Mental Health Tools 1) Visualizing a peaceful scene When you close your eyes and imagine yourself in a peaceful scene, your brain lights up as if you are actually in that scenario. Isn't that cool? With these neural pathways activated, your body releases good-feeling endorphins which reduces stress, increases calm, enhances focus and concentration, and can help you to feel more confident. 2) Giving yourself a hug or gentle touch One of my favorite self-soothing strategies that I learned from Dr. Kristin Neff, PhD, LP, who is a psychologist, researcher, associated professor at University of Texas-Austin, and expert on Self-Compassion, is to give yourself gentle and soothing touch, such as gently rubbing your hands on your arm, your leg, or placing your hand over your heart or caressing your face. Doing this actually helps release oxytocin, the love hormone. When no one else is around, giving yourself loving physical touch can help you feel soothed and loved. 3) Breathe through your nose Forget about always needing to count your breathing (although it's pretty helpful) and focus more on inhaling and exhaling through your nose. Nose breathing isn't just good for your mental health but it's also great for your medical health. (Because, truly, mental health and medical health are one in the same!) Nose breathing lowers your blood pressure, it helps to regulate your nervous system (which makes you feel calm), it delivers more oxygen to your working muscles, it helps to calm your mind, improve sleep, and so many other benefits. Learn more here: https://oxygenadvantage.com/science/nose-breathing-vs-mouth-breathing/ 4) Talk to yourself in a loving manner Talking lovingly to yourself releases "feel good" hormones like oxytocin (the love hormone), dopamine, and endorphins. Better yet, it's totally free and available in endless quantities. All you have to do is talk to yourself like someone you dearly love - or - imagine someone (such as a family member, dear friend, or spiritual figure) talking to you as if they deeply love and cherish you. 5) Practice prayer or affirmations But not just any prayer, internally guided prayer. Meaning, you are relying on your internal thoughts and feelings to guide your communication with your spiritual connection. When you practice internally guided prayer, you activate parts of your brain that promote self-reflection, insight, and the sense that you are a divine being. Isn't that cool? You're brain is wired for spirituality. If you want to nerd out on the research, you can read about it here. Bonus Did you know that the U.S. now has a national mental health and suicide crisis line? If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, you can dial 9-8-8 from anywhere in the U.S., 24/7, to get connected to your local crisis center and receive free and confidential support. You can learn more about it here: https://988lifeline.org/. If you would like some help or guidance with practicing prayer, check out my free mini-course >> From Loneliness to Love. I'll send you an email every day for 5 days with affirmations and prayers designed to help you attract the love and connection your heart longs for. Would you like to receive weekly encouragement from me? Subscribe to receive a personal note from me each week, be the first to know when I publish a new blog article or have an upcoming event; receive occasional freebies, and be privy to stories I may not share anywhere else. Sign up by clicking the button below. Please forward this to a friend or share on social media. Thank you! And remember, you are always loved no matter what. Pin this post to read it later Sherri M. Herman, MA, LPCC is a spiritual life coach, speaker, and psychotherapist who is known for being a compassionate guide has been helping others achieve their goals since 2010. Having been twice divorced herself, she loves helping women overcome the challenges and loneliness of divorce while balancing the needs of self-love, parenting, and life. She lives near Minneapolis, MN with her husband, son (aged 12 at the time of this publishing), dog (Spirit), cat (Daisy), and axolotl (Mochi). She loves movie and game nights with her family, hosting potlucks and bonfires, working out at the gym, and going camping with family-friends. Get Your Free 5-Day Email Series >> From Loneliness to Love I’m here to support you if you need. I can provide you with spiritual coaching regardless of where you are located. Click below to schedule a free support session with me and I'll help you assess what you're needing.

Do you ever find yourself struggling with discontent? Just this underlying dissatisfaction with your life? I’ve spent decades chasing after more and better. And you know what? That rat race makes me feel burned out, disconnected, and lonely. And then I’ll blame the people or circumstances around me for it. Pretty spiritual, right? Sound familiar? C'mon, you know you've done it too. You won't get any judgement from me. But, I've learned how to approach my discontent in a way that can bring sheer bliss. And I want to share that with you. Sometimes an outward change is necessary. So far in my life, I’ve been able to make changes to satisfy my unrest or my longings. I don’t think it’s all bad. Many times I believe that I’m genuinely responding to a call from within that’s more aligned with who God wants me to be and how God wants me to be in this world. Yes, sometimes that nagging feeling you have inside is legitimately calling you to make a change, learn, or grow by going back to school, starting a new job, ending that bad relationship, or making that move you've been thinking about for months. But sometimes you're simply caught in restless angst. You know that feeling of being unsettled or ill at ease without knowing exactly why? It’s like an internal itch that you're trying to scratch by changing something on the outside (or eating more cookies) and it just never quite satisfies the itch. Can you relate? I know without a doubt there’s going to come a time when you or I can’t change things on the outside to satisfy an unrest on the inside. I’ve been there before, I’ll be there again. And I know you have too. And at some point, those limits are only going to multiply and we'll have two options: to fight against the reality of life's limits and increase our suffering, or to accept our limits and sink into our feelings with presence and compassion. I suppose there’s a third option of getting lost in a drunken stupor but that’s not really me. And I hope it's not you. This is exactly why I need silent meditation retreats. Have you ever been? When I was more formally practicing Zen Buddhism at Minnesota Zen Meditation Center (MZMC), I used to attend group meditation retreats more often. Now I really enjoy solo retreats. I purposefully schedule solo, silent meditation retreats every so often because they force me to stop doing and to stop chasing better and more; they help me focus inward rather than being focused on others around me. I don't know about you but I know that if I'm not careful, I can become way to focused on everyone else but myself. And not in a helpful way. Several years ago I was on a silent retreat at MZMC in early December for Rohatsu - the annual observation of Buddha’s enlightenment. The full retreat is a total of seven days but I attended for four, which was the max I could do without interfering with my custody schedule. It was pretty cold. The nearby lake was beginning to freeze and the neighborhood was decorated for Christmas. Silent meditation retreats create space for inward connection. A multi-day Zen retreat is much like going into a sensory deprivation chamber; you spend a lot of time staring at a blank wall or at the floor and make every attempt to avoid eye contact with other people so that you even avoid non-verbal communication. I know, extreme, right? It's all by design -- to keep your focus inward. Some people choose to take breaks and go outside, but for this retreat I was purposefully staying inside to really limit my sensory experience. I was going “all in” with the limited time I had. (I know, I'm so Type-A!) The first couple of days were hard. Yes there were times that I felt extreme boredom, restlessness, and a lot of discontent. However, I think my most challenging moment was an evening where I was struggling with holding back hysterical laughter. Yes, hysterical laughter. Honestly, that may have been the hardest moment. I have absolutely no clue why I was laughing so hard, it just hit me like a ton of bricks and I didn't want to disrupt anyone else's zazen (zen meditation). I just know that if you sit and stare at a well for several days straight, you’re going to feel everything. If you are compassionately present to your discomfort long enough, there is a peaceful bliss available to you on the other side. By the third night, I felt more settled. More still. I felt like I got below the noise and muck of my mind. I felt called to venture outside. Y’all, I was awestruck. I had completely forgotten it was the Christmas season (heck, I forgot it was winter). When I saw the city lights, it was as if I had never seen civilization before. I was smiling from ear to ear in wonder and amazement. I felt profoundly connected to and grateful for everything. Not a speck of discontent in my entire being. Imagine being 5 years old and getting exactly what you wanted for Christmas from the real Santa Claus. I imagine my experience is what that that 5-year-old would feel like. Do you know this feeling? Sadly, you cannot live in perpetual bliss. Say it ain’t so! Yes, it’s true. Although the immersive experience of a multi-day silent retreat can lead to big and profound spiritual experiences of connection and presence, you cannot stay in that space forever. You wouldn’t be able to function or really live your life. And if you began to chase the emotional high of an opening experience, well then you’ve fallen back in the trap of chasing better and more. Drat! However, retreats are not the only way to strengthen your spiritual muscles for being more present. Just having the intention to be more present is huge. Start by objectively observing your thoughts, as if they were dust particles floating across the room. Let them float on by. Take any inanimate object, or the wall, and look at it for even just 3 minutes and practice returning your attention to this item over and over. Incorporate prayer to feel connected and soothed. It’s not so much that prayer makes any of your unpleasant feelings go away, but prayer helps you to embrace them; to hold them with compassion and to feel soothed. And from a neurological standpoint, when you practice internally guided prayer with loving and compassionate language, you activate parts of the brain that help with self-soothing and your body releases helpful and good-feeling hormones, like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. Isn’t that amazing? Your body is already equipped with everything you need to feel content and soothed. Nowadays, when my restlessness and discontent comes up, I try to be compassionately present to it and then turn inward and pray, “God, will you please meet me where I’m at? Will you please help me bring love to this part of me that feels so empty and unsatisfied? Will you help me feel meaning in what is already here, and help me feel entirely connected to you and all that is around me? Please bring clarity to this unrest. Thank you for holding me in this.” Is there a prayer or practice that helps you become more present or soothed amidst your own discontentedness or unrest? I’d love to know. If you would like some help or guidance with practicing prayer, check out my free, 5-Day Email Series >> From Loneliness to Love. I'll send you an email every day for 5 days with affirmations and prayers designed to help you attract the love and connection your heart longs for. Would you like to receive weekly encouragement from me? Subscribe to receive a personal note from me each week, be the first to know when I publish a new blog article or have an upcoming event; receive occasional freebies, and be privy to stories I may not share anywhere else. Sign up by clicking the button below. Please forward this to a friend or share on social media. Thank you! And remember, you are always loved no matter what. Pin this post to read it later Sherri M. Herman, MA, LPCC is a spiritual life coach, speaker, and psychotherapist who is known for being a compassionate guide has been helping others achieve their goals since 2010. Having been twice divorced herself, she loves helping women overcome the challenges and loneliness of divorce while balancing the needs of self-love, parenting, and life. She lives near Minneapolis, MN with her husband, son (aged 12 at the time of this publishing), dog (Spirit), cat (Daisy), and axolotl (Mochi). She loves movie and game nights with her family, hosting potlucks and bonfires, working out at the gym, and going camping with family-friends. Get Your Free 5-Day Email Series >> From Loneliness to Love I’m here to support you if you need. I can provide you with spiritual coaching regardless of where you are located. Click below to schedule a free support session with me and I'll help you assess what you're needing.