Relationship self-sabotage happens when you unconsciously create distance or conflict, even when you want closeness. This can look like picking fights, shutting down emotionally, overanalyzing every text, or convincing yourself the other person doesn’t really care. Chronic anxiety often grows out of two things: past experiences that left your system on high alert, and current stressors that keep pushing your limits. The result is a body that never fully relaxes.

If you’re dreading Valentine’s Day because it feels like a spotlight on what’s missing in your life, you’re not alone.