Finding Your Voice: Why It Matters More Than You Think
- Sherri M. Herman
- Jun 17, 2025
- 4 min read
Updated: Feb 23
Have you ever held back what you wanted to say because you felt unqualified, too insignificant, or like your voice didn’t matter?
Many times, I’m unsure if what I have to say is worth saying at all. After all, so many other people in the world are saying so many things!
There’s a cacophony of noise out there—and I often struggle to see where I fit in. Millions of people seem so much smarter and more educated than I am. They possess wisdom that feels out of reach. My mind wonders why my voice matters at all.
Do you ever wonder that too? Do you think, “Who am I to say anything? It doesn’t really matter!”?
It’s a delusion to think that any one voice is more valuable than another.
It’s a lie to believe that someone with more education and credentials is more important. It’s a lie that your voice doesn’t matter.
Somewhere along the way, someone conditioned your mind with that lie, and you started to believe it.
It’s false to think that simply because someone is speaking up, their voice is more worthy of being heard than any other. Their voice isn’t more worthy or important—it’s just being vocalized. The truth is, your voice matters because you matter just as much as anyone else, even if our modern, capitalist, and class-based society would lead you to believe otherwise.
Your voice matters just as much as anyone else’s—and that goes for everyone else's too.
But your voice won’t truly matter to anyone if it doesn’t matter to you first. Do you speak up about your feelings and opinions? Do you voice your disagreements? Do you assert yourself when someone violates your boundaries?
Some people are fortunate to have companions who truly understand them. However, even then, no one can read your mind. Maybe if you’ve had a highly attuned companion for 30 years—but even then—mind reading isn’t a thing. They’re simply making educated guesses based on past experiences.
Nobody can read your mind (thank goodness!!).
It’s a mistake to think that people should just know what you mean, what you want or need, your opinion, or just know your intentions.
Honestly, many people don’t even know themselves in this way, yet they still expect others to know.
My friend, if you want to be known, you need to use your voice. First, with yourself, and then with others.
If you want people to deeply know you, you need to be willing to deeply know yourself and be willing to deeply see and know others.
This all probably seems obvious on paper (or screen), right? It looks so clear when you read it. But I’m telling you—many people really struggle with this. And I have no doubt that you do too, to some extent.
What are you holding back? What’s the thing you’re not saying? Who in your life are you hiding from? What are you screaming on the inside but not saying on the outside?
And who do you need to say it to? Is it yourself? Your partner? A parent, friend, boss, or employee? It’s not worth staying silent. It eats away at you. It keeps you feeling small.
Staying silent makes you feel lonely, anxious, and depressed.
When you stay silent, you’re essentially putting tape over your mouth and isolating yourself. You’re pushing yourself down.
And that makes me wonder—who has previously pushed down your voice? Who made you feel small, insignificant, belittled, or even stupid just for speaking up?
Who needed to have power over you so they could feel powerful? Who tried to control you to feel in control? Who made you feel bad and stupid because they might have felt threatened by you?
It’s not enough to say your voice matters. You need to live as if it matters.
You need to live as if all voices matter. It’s not as easy as it seems when you’ve spent years being ignored or suppressing yourself.
But you can start small. You already do it in so many ways. So keep going.
Start with the thing that’s been eating at you and niggling in the back of your mind. Let go of the judgments (or rather, let them be there but keep them in the background).
Don't wait to speak up until there are no more judgments or criticisms coming from the inside—you’d be waiting forever.
So, I ask you again—
What is it that you’ve been shoving down and that you really need to say?
Who do you need to say it to?
If it helps, you can start by telling me. I’ll keep it confidential, I promise (I’m a therapist, remember—a human vault). Sometimes, sharing with just one other person or even a journal can help pave the way.
You realize you’re okay, you’re still here, and the sky didn’t fall.
About Minneapolis based Therapist, Sherri M Herman, MA, LPCC
Sherri is a licensed therapist in Minneapolis, Minnesota who works with high-achieving leaders, entrepreneurs, and professionals struggling with burnout, anxiety, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. If you're the one who holds everything together for everyone else, and you're exhausted by it, you're exactly who she works with. She sees clients in person in South Minneapolis and virtually across Minnesota. Learn more.
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